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I would suggest that she carry a small bag in her backpack that has a pad in it. She should have this with her all the time because especially in the beginning her period can start when she is least expecting it.

It takes some time for the body to get organized and start having a regular cycle. When her period becomes more consistent, there are some wonderful menstrual cycle apps that she can download to help her keep track of her menstrual cycle schedule.

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She is not too young, but she will need some instruction. I would begin by asking her to go into the bathroom or a private place and use a mirror to learn about the vulva.

She needs to find the vaginal opening. After she has done this, you can explain to her how to put in a tampon. In my book, I’m a Girl-Hormones! there is a diagram and description that will explain the insertion process step-by- step.

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Adolescents are not usually comfortable with big talks about puberty or sex.

Fortunately, there are numerous opportunities provided by television and movies to get a great conversation going. I would keep your response to something simple like a casual observation. They know you and they will get the message.

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Irregular periods are normal in the first year of your period.

The brain sends hormones to the ovaries to guide the menstrual cycle. It takes a little time for the brain to get the system working perfectly!

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The first question I would ask you is when did you start your period. Often daughter’s follow mom’s schedule. It is not unusual for a girl to start her period as late as 13 years old.

If she has the signs of early puberty including breast buds (little lumps near the nipples) and pubic hair, she is probably going to start her period soon. If you are concerned or maybe want to reassure her, I would encourage you to take her to see her pediatrician. I think she is fine, but the doctor can put both of your minds at ease.

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This is a great question.

There are three types of glands in the skin and one of them is called a sebaceous gland. It produces oil that is squirted into a hair follicle through a tiny tube called a duct. Sebaceous glands don’t start producing oil until puberty because they need a form of testosterone (girls make a little of this hormone too) to make them work.

If the duct gets blocked, oil builds up and forms a pimple. You want to keep your skin clean so that pimples don’t become irritated or infected.

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Puberty hormones (especially estrogen) direct fat distribution into new places like around the hips and in the breasts. This is why girls have a more shapely body after they enter puberty.

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It is fine for her to start using a tampon if both of you feel good about it. She will need some instruction and it will be helpful for her to learn about the parts of her vulva so that she can find the vaginal opening. After she has done this, you can explain to her how to put in a tampon.

In my book, I’m a Girl-Hormones! there is a diagram and description that will explain the insertion process step-by- step.

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Usually the school provides a preview session for parents. I would encourage you to attend and find out what they plan to teach. Most elementary schools do not discuss sexual content with a 5^th grader.

They will focus on the physical changes that your daughter is going to experience. The focus will probably be on the menstrual cycle and preparing for their first period.

Find a book that you like and give it to her in preparation. You might want to look at my book, I’m a Girl-Hormones! available soon.

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That will depend upon the age and maturity of your child. After she starts having her period, it is time to begin that discussion. I encourage parents to make the conversation more casual and spread out over several months.

If you have already been having great talks with her as she has matured through puberty, you are already off to a great start.

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This is a great question for her to ask. It would be helpful for her to know that boys enter puberty about 1-2 years later than girls and so the girls are usually taller than boys in early middle school.

Hormones are also what awaken the boy anatomy in the same way they do the girl anatomy. I have had many requests from parents to write a book for girls about boys and a book for boys about girls. I am in the process of doing that!

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Thank you for this insightful question. What you are feeling is a change in response from parenting a child to parenting an adolescent on the path to adulthood.

Fortunately this is a gradual transition, but I believe it begins for parents when they recognize that their daughter is maturing and it is time to change the way they respond to each other. Respect is the central theme and the emotional cement that binds that important, ever-changing relationship. Maybe it is time for a good talk about mutual respect and that you value her opinion.

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Your daughter’s brain is going through a major developmental growth time and is being flooded with hormones and brain chemicals like dopamine.  

I have a lot of compassion for these kids because they have no idea why this is happening to them. Although her emotions can go up and down daily, you will notice more of an irritation and crankiness a few days before her period. Giving her some space is a great idea. Try not to take her responses personally. You can both laugh about a “puberty moment”.

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Your child’s brain is orchestrating a sexual maturation process called puberty. At the completion of puberty, she will be sexually mature. Starting her period prepares her reproductive system so that she can have a baby one day.

Because of all this, she will naturally have an increasing interest in sexual topics. She is going to need positive guidance from you as she begins to question these new feelings. Now is a wonderful time to help her develop a healthy perspective about sex. It is especially important she understand respect for herself and others as part of our information for her.