Questions and Answers for Girls ages 8 – 9
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- I am planning to have a first talk with my 9-year-old daughter about puberty. Where should I begin?
- What do I say to my 9 year old daughter when she asks why she smells different now?
- My daughter, who is 8 years old, has found a lump in one of her breasts and it is a little painful. Should I be concerned?
- My daughter is 9 years old and she has become concerned about puberty. Some of her friends seem to be maturing more quickly than her and she knows she is next. Her response is that she doesn’t want to grow up. How can I make this transition positive for her?
- My daughter’s best friend told her that she had started puberty. My daughter came to me to find out what this means. How should I answer her?
- Our 9-year-old daughter came to me today and expressed concern that she found hair growing in her “private place”. What should I tell her?
QUESTION 1:
I am planning to have a first talk with my 9-year-old daughter about puberty. Where should I begin?
ANSWER
I am happy to hear you say “first talk”. I encourage parents to discuss puberty with their daughters over several months and years. In the first talk, I would mention that special hormones (chemicals in the blood) start being made and they awaken girl anatomy, especially the ovaries. The ovaries start producing more hormones and your body starts into puberty.
The hormones made during puberty are going to cause changes in her body.
Here are two changes she might notice first:
– Small lumps under her nipples called breast buds. These happen because her breasts are starting to grow.
– A change in body odor. Some of the glands in the skin require puberty hormones to start working and this results in a change in body odor.
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QUESTION 2:
What do I say to my 9 year old daughter when she asks why she smells different now?
ANSWER
There are glands in the skin that need puberty hormones to get them working. These glands are located in the armpits and the genitals.
They release a special sweat that is ingested by normal bacteria that live on the skin and then produce a gas which is body odor.
It is probably time to go on a deodorant shopping trip and find a pleasant body wash for daily use.
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QUESTION 3:
My daughter, who is 8 years old, has found a lump in one of her breasts and it is a little painful. Should I be concerned?
ANSWER
It is normal for girls in your daughter’s age group to find these lumps. They are called breast buds and they are an early sign that she has entered puberty.
It is normal to find them in only one breast to begin with, the other breast will soon catch up.
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QUESTION 4:
My daughter is 9 years old and she has become concerned about puberty.
Some of her friends seem to be maturing more quickly than her and she knows she is next. Her response is that she doesn’t want to grow up.
How can I make this transition positive for her?
ANSWER
Based on her response, she has probably already entered puberty even though there are not many obvious signs.
Some days she will want to grow up and some days she will want to remain a child. These changes in her emotions are part of the early puberty transition.
It might be helpful to explain to her that her body and her brain are maturing. Let her know this is a normal pathway that all kids experience and that it is a very special time in her life.
Reassure her that you will be there with her every step of the way and turn it into a celebration!
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QUESTION 5:
My daughter’s best friend told her that she had started puberty.
My daughter came to me to find out what this means. How should I answer her?
ANSWER
I think it is important to emphasize the positive when talking about puberty.
I would describe it has a beautiful transition time that includes changes in her body and changes in her mind. You can reassure her by explaining that the first changes she might notice are small lumps under the nipples of her breasts. These are called breast buds and they are early signs that she has entered puberty.
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QUESTION 6:
Our 9-year-old daughter came to me today and expressed concern that she found hair growing in her “private place”.
What should I tell her?
ANSWER
This hair is called pubic hair and it is a sign that she has entered early puberty.
Each year this delicate hair will grow thicker and become more curly. Reassure her that this is a normal sign that her body is maturing.
You might want to ask her if she has noticed little lumps in her breasts near her nipples. These are called breast buds and they also begin to appear in early puberty.
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