During brief moments, your young teen daughter will crack open the door into her heart a tiny bit for you to peek in. Although it has been days since she acknowledged that you exist at all, this moment is beyond exciting for you.

You know your time is limited, so how do you get the most out of this unique and unexpected opportunity to connect with your daughter?

Stored up in your heart are numerous topics that you’ve been waiting to discuss with her. As you search through your brain to select the most important ones, you must resist the temptation to force the crack in the door open farther than the door can handle!

These fleeting precious moments happen when your daughter needs a stable base to hold onto. She needs to know that in all of the chaos of her rapidly changing life, you love her and will always be there for her. Even if there were some hurt feelings between the two of you that very day, let them go as if it was in forgotten past.

Don’t Lecture

Try, with all the emotional energy you have, to resist the desire to lecture her about cleaning up her room, spending too much time with friends, and the many other concerns or complaints that you have stored away. There will be other occasions when you can use to address these hot topics. Don’t squander this sacred time on contentious issues.

Just Listen

Instead, when the door is open a tiny bit, listen. By listening, you will be reminded that your daughter is maturing and you will hear the events of her life that are important to her. Reassure her that you have confidence in her and that you will always have her back. Her act of cracking the door open a bit is a statement in and of itself that she is feeling a little insecure and needs your steadfast love to move forward. You don’t need all the details of her concerns and she is probably not looking for any answers either.

YOU Are Her “Safe Place”

Over the years of loving and caring for her, you have built this safe place for her now. A few minutes with you is all she needs to face the tumultuous life she is living as she transitions into a young adult woman. It’s a selfless time of giving and you will probably not hear “thank you,” but as you reflect on this tiny peek into her emotional teenage vault, let your heart be filled with joy that you are her “safe place” in life.