Have you prepared your son for his first kiss? As parents, we are concerned about our adolescents having sex when they are too young. That’s a legitimate concern. But holding hands and enjoying a deeper relationship with a girl, is also part of becoming a young adult. Let’s begin by preparing him for his first kiss.  

It is fascinating to learn about the body and how its goal is for us to have children so that our species can go on and on. Preparation for reproduction begins during puberty when sexual centers in the brain are awakened and the anticipation of a sexual life begins.

Suddenly, it is pleasurable to hold a girl’s hand and share a kiss. You are probably a little terrified reading this right now if you have a young teen son, but actually they are a little terrified by this new development in their life as well. Girls were disgusting to them just a few years ago. Now, they know something is different, but what?

You already know the answers to the questions that are swirling in your son’s head. Here are a few ideas for you to consider as you prepare to share your wisdom with him.

• If your son hears something positive from you about a relationship with a girl, he might be willing to ask you more questions. You can only imagine how unprepared his must feel and having you there to support him could make all the difference for him.
• As parents, you have much more influence than you realize. Your son will trust what you say to him even though he probably won’t tell you that.
• Preparing your son for a relationship that is more than a friendship, is one of the most important responsibilities we have as parents. If your son feels like these new feelings should be kept in secret, he is missing the opportunity to learn about what makes a healthy relationship.
• During adolescence, a brain chemical called dopamine is having a profound effect on his thinking. Risky adventures become more enticing with dopamine pushing him in that direction. If he thinks getting close to a girl is a risky adventure then he will be want it even more. By talking to your son along the way and being part of helping him understand his feelings, the risk factor will go down.
• Some parents think that if they talk about sexual feelings with their son, he will have more desire. That is probably just about the opposite of what normally happens. The more he understands about the deep emotional and physical feelings that come with a sexual relationship, it is likely he will be wiser and more careful.

Helping Him Understand

The first kiss is both exciting and scary. Help your son understand what is happening in his brain and in his body so that he can be prepared for a relationship that goes beyond just friendship.